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"Funkmaster Flex Freestyle" lyrics by ACTION BRONSON
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"Funkmaster Flex Freestyle"

[Verse 1 - Action Bronson:]
You spent your advance on one trip to Six Flags
With a handicapped class with your candy rap ass
Bitch you singing like Frankie Lymon
Fuck around, you might break your hymen
Then somebody's gonna have to clean the mess up
Like you fuckin spilled ketchup
Fuckin flawless from the neck up
If you want it better step up
You don't wanna feel that brrat-tat-tat-tat
Come through the fuckin ball court with Salt N' Pepa

[Verse 2:]
If I die change my suit four times at the wake
Make sure I get my dick sucked also
Everybody wearing white clothes
Crush cocaine, put it up your right nose
You might see me lookin homeless
Hoppin out the rover, parrot on my shoulder
Just say what up, I might acknowledge you
My shit is crazy, though appear to be a common dude
I only deal with people that invent shit
Cause after rap there ain't no pension
And I'm trying to be the next George Foreman
Inventing new grills so Jadakiss could cook the base on it
I might take a shit in some expensive jeans
I got expensive habits
My kids are mixed like Lenny Kravitz
It's not me rappin it's the parrot
And if I punch you in the face
You'll never eat a mother fuckin sandwich

[Verse 3:]
These dudes wanna claim king, you're dealing with the mortals
Fuck being cordial I'm laughin while I'm dancin in the ball room
Former king's head lay in the guillotine
Snap my fingers chop that mother fucker
Put a village to siege
Ain't no man walking iller than me
If you see me you better kneel on the knee
I'm like a one in a million case
Brilliant face, crooked J tryna put me in the cage
Turn the page, bitch I'm paid
I been around the world more than carmen sandiego
Raw meat thrown to lions under the table
Grown men breakin bread while your face bled
Found face down in the shed like a base head
Switch plates on a civic, pivot
Exotic places that they rap aboout Ii live it
Fat boy, I'm eatin all the spinach
Hold up a second baby I ain't even finished (nah)
Dropped 50k on my mans bail
Two hours later he was as tan as a potato
From a foreign land that once was occupied by NATO
Every line is nasal
We deal with more numbers than times tables
Bodies get found in the ground by neighbors
I'm in the bathroom reading the paper laid up
Sharp blade cut, need a top girly girlies like it
The ones that go two ways - it's just my blue phase

I'm in the bathroom reading the paper laid up
Butt naked in the lamborghini
These mother fuckers can't see me
The Magic Johnson of the game these lames don't want to play with me

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