Do you guys have veggie burgers?
Yeah, can I get one of those?
Can you put bacon on it for me?
Once upon a time, one night next week
I hit the five-eight to get a bite to eat
I went inside, nobody here
But a couple guys at the bar holding beers
I sat down in the booth
I'll take a glass of grapefruit juice
Checking the selections
But I didn't get further than the mushroom Swiss burger
They said meat is murder, but I eat it
If it wasn't illegal, I'd eat people
As long as he used to walk
I'll take him with a side of the tater tots
I don't dine out a lot
I don't spend time out in general pop
And if I wasn't all alone at the spot
I'd probably order it to go in a styrofoam box
She brought me my sandwich
It came in a plastic basket
It's poison for my health
So you know I'm enjoying myself
But all of a sudden
The bar filled up with a herd of suburban bumpkins
No more personal space
Wish that they would all burst into flames
That's when I decided to get my revenge
I quietly got up, locked the doors
Went into the kitchen and popped the draws
Grabbed any knife in sight
Tonight everybody getting sacrificed, aight?
The whole south side heard them scream
Sent them to hell, felt like a dream
It was a gruesome bloodbath
Stabbed everyone, including the pub staff
Then I sparked a grill and went to town
Fried 'em all up and chowed 'em all down
After the feast, peace
Went home and fell asleep
Now I feel guilty, so in front of all of you
I'm ready to admit that I'm addicted to bar food
"Mhmm, this is a tasty burger"
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