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"1-900-Dial-A-Crook" lyrics by CONVICTS
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[feat. Geto Boys]

[Big Mike:]
Find a car in a cool-ass area
Where you can walk by and motherfuckers won't be scared of ya
Because if they're scared of ya
They might get suspicious
And call the police
So you really gotsta listen

A school or mall would be the best place to hit
You gotsta be quick, and don't try no funny shit
Find a side window by the backseat of the car
Bust it out and unlock the back door
Jump into the backseat then you climb into the front
You get the shit smooth, but the job ain't done

Thinkin' to yourself - "This time I got 'em"
You stick your screwdriver in the steering wheel column
Time to get busy, ain't no time to wait
Pull on the screwdriver 'til the steering column breaks
Then you take your hand and feel around for the pin
And when you find it, put the screwdriver in

Pull the pin back until the car starts
Nothin' else to do but take the steerin' apart
Then you drive off like it's yours, real slick
Leavin' some stoopid motherfucker cold sick

Dope-ass jack-move, straight out the book
Exclusively on Dial-A-Crook

Get a test tube, some baking soda and a stove that's hot
With your dope in any old kinda fuckin' pot
Put some dope in the test tube, not that much
Add a little water, then baking soda - just a touch
Place the test tube over the stove and start shakin' it

Couple of minutes to the cut - you'll be takin' it
But first look at it, it starts to form an egg-shape
Put some mo' water in though, and carefully shake

Then you hear it start hittin' the glass
Haha - a cookie on they funky bitch-ass
But this ain't time for cappin' or frontin'
Getcha fuckin' razorblade and commence to cuttin'
Cut up 20's, dimes and nickels, even save your crumbs
Cause the shit is so potent you'll have they whole fuckin' body numb

Then start kickin' out dope like karate
But don't be a stupid motherfucker sellin' to anybody
Cause the jump-out boys jump out fast
How the fuck you gonna run when the gauge is pointed at yo' ass?
But fuck all this information I'm givin', I ain't a book
Put the phone on the hook
Outta here, you dialed a crook

Here's a game for you dick-suckin' bitches
Yo hoes, who's givin' up the pussy for the riches?
But a nigga like me won't pay shit
To put it blunt to ya: "Homie don't play, bitch"

So open up and lemme get it
Me pay for the pussy? Bitch, quit it
Ain't no pussy in the world worth cashflow
Put bank in your ass? Oh, no

It ain't no way, motherfucker
You could be the world's best dicksucker
But you still don't fit for the payroll
I run game on a bitch and lay low

And let her roll with someone else
And let the other motherfucker play his-self
Let her get his cashflow
But guess what, I'm still gettin' that ass, bro

Let the other nigga keep her
But everytime you fuck her ain't that pussy gettin' deeper?
I bet it kinda makes you wonder
When you're home all alone, yo, Akshun plays the plumber

Hahaha, you thought you had her
But when you fall asleep, yo she's rollin' with the Bradster
I peep out game and just chill
You gave her money for her rent
But honey paid my light bill

It ain't like a nigga ain't rich
It's just the bitch has gotta pay for this dick
Reverse the game, get a hook
Dial a Crook

[Willie D:]
You wanna know how to put Hussein in the morgue?
Well I'm the man for the motherfuckin' job
His phone could be tapped
But I don't give a fuck about that
Lemme tell you how to get his ass

OK, plan A - artillery
You want somethin' that'll take a motherfucker outta his misery
You can't use a scope like the old days
'Cause the motherfucker hidin' in them caves

He ain't shit to get with
Just jump in a B-52 and make the hit
For the army, navy, air force and marines
Blow his funky ass to smithereens

(Bushwick, can I get a witness?
Fuck yeah, Nyquil that sickness)

[Bushwick Bill]
Size ain't shit, load ya clip
You wanna kill Hussein, I'm hip
Let him get off in the water
Screw on the silencer - now slaughter

But don't aim for the back or the chest
You know the motherfucker wears a bullet-proof vest
Go after the head
When you see red, the motherfucker's good as dead

[BANG] That's all she wrote

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