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"S For Lisp" lyrics by GEORGE WATSKY
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"S For Lisp"

So someone said to me the other day I've got a lisp

A stranger you know they said I've got a subtle lisp and I should know I sound a little stupid doing spoken words when all my words have S in them are spoken so absurd

And I'm not upset, okay it just sucks

You think you're speaking normally for two decades and then shucks;
Find out your stuff sounds like a stanza of Severus Snape's toughest parseltounge is pronounced by Daffy Duck

So I will say this

My subtle lisp is not sinful. I'm not sorry Saturday, I'm not sorry Sunday; I'm spiritual and when I speak I celebrate the Sabbath seven days a week

I've got special S sauce all smothered on my skull walls like a tossed salad so silk screen the Sistine ceiling on my soft pallet

I sing along with super seensters reciting Sufjan Stevens songs in skinny jeans
Dance salsa with soccer moms sneaking out in skimpy see-through sarongs
I will answer your questions in stout with my sexy subtly lisping sparkling incisor small

What's my surname? Watsky
What's my size? Stocky
My city? San Francisco it's so sweet now slow

See, I've heard some steamy stories of oral sex but I'm not stretching to say one time, I made a lady climax by speaking an S-y section of a Shakespeare sonnet in her split legs general direction

I scribble all S Essays I shred them and sprinkle the whole S ashes. My speech doesnt give a spotted sea snail if it passes. I slipped pass straight Fs to straight Ss in my classes because my speech stay second semester senior status

Seriously so so so so soon, so sick sixth grade kids call me sofa king I'm on tongue steroids, slammin with the Sammie Sosa swing, so tight I sleep upright in a small cell in Sing Sing and sail the seven seas on Steve Irwins sting ray while your speed boats sinking

It's still too soon

Anyway screw an S.S.O.S I'm straight S.S.S for save someones standards. Studied at Emerson the school of savage speech

Sup Stanford?

I spit sexier than Summer Sanders, Sarah Silverman, Susan Sarandon, Sissy Spacek, Sally Struthers, and Selena, spooning, in a 6-way same sex all S celebrity civil union

So, you can slander the gay lisp and I will slip you a solid list of friends, or 60% of Emerson; who, lisp or no lisp, will stop, spit, stay pissed, and start all over on the racists

You can save the South Korean stereotypes, the Sambo shtick, the sexist shit is sickening

And if you suppose your speech is normal, it's cause your impediment is listening

Speak for those of us with something special. Something that sets us aside from my accent havers, my stammerers, my southerners, my st-st-stutterers, yes I will spit it sick and stick to never skipping S

Cause I was, sucking on a soup spoon and I suckled it to sterling silver simple supple super soaker staying watching sister sister scenage syllables coming esophagus move over there's this place in second place isolate oxygen there's no stopping this I start this step of speaking you should see that I will not desist

I'm sorry cause see, If you don't like a subtle lisp, then you can simply suck on thissssssss

[Thanks to Mars for correcting these lyrics]

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