Weighin' the options of life and death
Fantasizin', goddamn it'd be nice to rest
A .38 Smith & Wess' up against my flesh
A nigga finally feelin' blessed once the trigger's pressed
Deep thoughts about my family, how would they react?
Insomniac, left his world like a maniac
A self-inflicted gunshot left me stretched out
Stressed out, so depressed I chose the best route
My family probably havin' fits cause I called it quits
My niggas mad cause they probably think it was a bitch
That shoe fits but it's small like a combination
No bitch alone can send me to eternal condemnation
Shit I'm facin's got me sittin' at the edge of my bed
Head achin' cause I'm cryin' as I beg to be dead
I can't wait until this hot slug enters my head
Finally for Mark tears are eventually shed
Dear God, I can't believe my life has come to this
I soak my arms up in ice tryin' to numb my wrist
I think about the opportunities I've had and blown
Got nothin' else to do but think cause I'm that alone
My hope is gone, went to college but I fucked it up
Got kicked out, but my heart told me: suck it up!
So I did, spent the next few years in hell
I'm losing job after job seein' dreams fail
Seein' niggas who ain't shit get the luxuries
Nice guys finish last, who gives a fuck for me?
Reluctantly put the barrel underneath my chin
My only witness is my best friends, weed and gin
They know my sin cause I talk to 'em every night
My forty ounce is always there when me and God fight
I close my eyes tight, ready for the twilight
My life and death is just another ghetto highlight
Dear God, do you listen when I cuss you out?
Don't it provoke you to respond to what I'm fussin 'bout?
Don't it concern you that I'm losin' my belief
Confusion from massive grief got me on my knees
Why you refusin' to send relief?
I spend most of my lonely existence thinkin', conversatin'
Tellin' the master of creation what I'm contemplatin'
Arguin', sometimes yellin', tears swellin'
Threatenin' to put one in my melon, finally expellin'
My tormented soul from this unbearable hell I dwell in
Searchin' like Magellan to exit this hole I fell in
This hole I live in, askin' God am I not forgiven
For my crimes in a previous life
Was I a sinner cursin God in a devious life?
Does Jesus Christ hold a grudge against me while others live the easiest life?
With no struggles, no stress, no test
Never knowin' demons like loneliness, never depressed
Never jobless, never on they hands and knees
Beggin' God please cure this poor man's disease
Was everything in church just religious fantasies
Destroyed by science findin' ancient man's debris?
If you listenin' God speak to me and answer these
Questions we been askin' since we covered plants with leaves
Why do good people feel Satan's wicked embrace?
Why are good people sick and displaced?
Why are good people forced to live a life that is empty and stressed?
While the wicked seem happy and blessed
Talk to me, the devil's tryin' to walk through me
Will you respond or will the coroner be forced to put the chalk to me?
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