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"Mega Marital Problems" lyrics by STARBOMB
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"Mega Marital Problems"


[Spoken:]

[Wily (Danny Sexbang):]
Hello, Mega Man. And Mrs. Mega Man.
Welcome to couples' therapy. I'm Dr. Wily.

[Mega Man (Egoraptor):]
Dr. Wily? You're a therapist now?
But you're evil, and bent on world domination!

[Wily:]
Not anymore. Those days are behind me.
Don't question it! Shut up. Just tell me the problem over this hot beat.

[Mega Man:]
Okay...

[Music]

[Mega Man:]
Well you see, Doc, I got a pretty nice life
A Mega House with two kids, and a hot Mega Wife
But I got a little problem with my android bride
When it comes to making love, she's never satisfied

[Mrs. Mega (Danny):]
We've been fucking for decades! Sex has gotten routine!
We gotta spice that shit up, I'm not a total machine!
I'm sick of all the romance, and the cuddles, and the love
It's time to get dirty and do all the weird stuff!

[Wily:]
It would be seeming to me that the problem here
Is you don't listen to your wife, she is being clear

[Mega Man:]
But she says the same thing, like a tape recorder!

[Wily:]
Quiet! The doctor is talking -- there must be ORDER!
...Sorry, I'm not evil anymore.
You must beat the Robot Masters to acquire skills
And then use them on your wife when she is getting drilled
Maybe she likes shocks from Elec Man's beam
Or getting burnt by fireballs; she's a freaky man's dream

[Mega Man:]
Is that what you want, hon? A Robot Master?

[Mrs. Mega:]
Get out and do it, you stupid bastard!

[Wily:]
Your marriage will be healthy like pure springwater
Now leave my office before you are SLAUGHTERED!

[Mega Man:]
Fine, I'll kick ass if it saves my marriage
For the satisfaction of my lady's undercarriage
First I'll take on Fire Man, not much of a test
Oh, your weakness is ice? I woulda never fucking guessed.
Now Ice Man is here, this shouldn't take up too much time
Oh, is your weakness fire? You just blew my fucking mind.
I cut Cut Man and he's gonna need stitches
Bomb and Elec Man just went down like little bitches

[Zero (Danny):]
Wait, you douchebag, I'm gonna end your life
I am Mega Man Zero, and I'm here to plow your wife
I bring sex moves from the future, and my skills are vast
Like my super double ultra mega nutbuster cumblast (Oh!)
Women can't resist my blonde flowing locks
I'll slap a stamp right on my package and deliver your wife the cock
My shining armor is red, the color of victory
While your fruity suit is blue, like your balls will soon be

[Spoken:]

[Zero:]
Wait! What are you doing...?

[Mega Man:]
Mega Dick... ACTIVATE!

[Music]

[Wily:]
So Mega Man harnessed all the powers of the Masters
And killed Zero with his mega laser schlong-blaster
And then he banged his wife until she screamed "Yes! More!"
Then she loved him again, 'cause she's a SHALLOW WHORE

[Spoken:]

[Wily:]
Sorry, that was misogynistic.
She is a whore, though.

[Mega Man:]
What did you say?!

[Wily:]
Nothing!
...Douche.

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