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"Funky Dividends" lyrics by THREE TIMES DOPE
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"Funky Dividends"


[ES:]Michelle, why you gotta tell Mickey everything about us?
[Michelle:] Cause I needed somebody to talk to.
[ES:] But you're trying to make it seem like I started it all.
[Michelle:] I just told her the story the way it went.
[ES:] Michelle.
[Michelle):] What?
[ES:] Look. Since you seem to be forgetting, I'm a tell you the story
from the beginning. Aiight?
[Michelle:] Umm hmmm.

Cruising down the Ave with my homeboy Boove
Laying back like jack, mellowing to the groove.
The "Greatest Man Alive" was cold rocking my world.
Then I rocked a little harder when I saw this fresh, fly girl.
A hold up. I can't go out like a nut.
I had to conjure out a cool way to strut.
They call me E.S., the overlord of fresh.
I saw you in the dress, and I just had to impress.
My compliment, came through in a clutch
She started to blush. Then I knew what was up.
Called her next morning. Said, "What'll it be?
Dinner and a movie or just chillin' with me?"
She said, "Me." So I went and got the slimy.
But as soon as I opened the door she said, "Gimme!"
It was like I was a bone, and she was fetching.
She gobbled, cold swallowed my one's like Greedy Gretchin.
Then after a couple of weeks of good loving my friends,
She did the dummy move, and started asking for my dividends.

[Chorus]
[DJ Wood scratches:] Rah rah, rah rah rah

[Verse2]
Come around the corner looking funki fresh.
This new jack babe started popin' a mess.
Steady trip, cause I didn't call her last night.
I kindly pulled her to the side n' said, "Yo, take a hike.
Cause I don't need it girl. Too many problems in this world.
So go on ahead with your jheri curl.
She wanted Jefferson's and Lincoln's.
I said, "No way! Yo Slim, what do you think this is? President's Day?
People start buggin' over things like that honey.
You know the time! So don't act funny with my money.
I refuse to abuse my savings and loans.
So if you want some ends baby, you best go with your own.
Now I said it once before, and I'm a say it again: Best believe you
won't receive no dividends."

[Interlude]
[ES:] Michelle, how come every time we argue, it got to be about
money?
[Michelle:] When I was with Steady B, I had it all: Gucci, Louie
Vaton, gold,
Liz Claiborne. I had it all. You ain't giving me nothing.

[Verse 3]
It's a shame. Nowadays you've got to stay paid.
It ain't like the old days, when you could serenade.
Take walks with your girl at night in the park,
And in the shadow, secretly steal her heart.
But the new wave 80's has everything reversible.
Instead of walks, you drive a Cadillac Convertible.
Two's bound to kill you. All you need is one
To constantly bug you to get her hair done.
Every weeks a new style. She's always got to rock it.
Like a Super Bowl sack, she's tackling your pockets.
But when you want to chill, you find that something always blocks it.
You're looking for your wallet, but your girlfriends got it.
I tried to put you D [own], cause you was my friend.
You didn't listen. Now she's got you for your dividends.

[ES's male friend:]
"You bought another dress? This is ridiculous!
That's the third dress this week!"

[x2: DJ Wood scratches in JFK sample] "The world is very different now."

[Verse 4]
Now I don't like to get upset, and I don't like to riff.
But one thing that gets me hype is when girls shoot the gift.
Now there's a little saying about the J-O-B.
But what she's really trying to do is take your D-O-E
N' wreck your whole check on the latest design.
When you're broke, it's all a joke. But when your paid, it's fine.
This advice to you I lend. Begin to let it sink, and you can spin.
But don't be taking nothing my friend.
Now I said it once before, and I'm a say it again:
"Best believe you won't receive no dividends."
Now I said it once before, and I'm a say it again.
"Best believe you won't receive no dividends."

[Prologue]
Word. Ya know what I'm saying?
I don't mind giving my girl something-
or any woman for that matter-ifthey need it.
But love shouldn't be used as a personal VISA card on the strength.
Cause the same way you're trying to get somebody, you can get got.
Workers large still in effect. Ain't that right Wood?

[Wood scratches:] "Ye-yeah!...ye-yeah!"

[Michelle:] Why you looking at me like that ES?
[ES:] Cause man Michelle, if I had known you were going to do me like
this,
I would have never stepped to you from the giddy up.
[Michelle:] Well, if I had known you weren't going to provide for me,
I wouldn't have talked to you anyway. Straight up.
I thought you was the Greatest Man Alive. But I guess I was wrong.
[ES:] Psssh. I wonder if my grand pops and pops
went through things like this back in the day. Cause man, this ain't
worth it.

[JFK sample scratched in:] "The world is very different now."

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